Me Time

Putting people first. Being selfless. It’s all something we aspire to do. It’s something we aspire to be. 

I don’t want to generalise but the community of those who are experiencing or have experienced mental health issues seem to all have the same thing in common. Helping others. So much to the point that they neglect their own self-care. Others happiness is put before their own happiness.

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I am one of these people. You probably are too. But now, I see things in a different light since seeing myself breakdown and witnessing myself lose interest in my own self-care.

There’s nothing wrong with being selfless. Don’t get me wrong. Don’t misinterpret what I am saying.

But there is a difference between helping others and helping others to the point that you do not help yourself.

I met a woman at work who was stressed with her job. She has anxiety, depression and is on anti-depressants. She explained to me that she feels the need to help others, and not herself.

She feels guilty if she has ‘me-time’. 

At first I thought “Wow. This lady is me”.

I explained to her how similar of a situation I was in. As I was giving her advice, I realised why do I not follow my own advice?

I advised her to carry on helping others if it made her happy, but for every two or three things she does for someone, take some time for herself.

The problem is not helping others, it’s the guilt we feel when we do something nice for ourselves. We are programmed as humans to feel bad when we treat ourselves.

This is how the cycle starts. We feel like we are restricted to being all work and no play. How can we help this?

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  1. Help others whilst helping yourself.
    It may be that a friend is in aid of some cheering up but you’ve already had a really stressful day and just want to relax. So, relax with them. Watch a film, go for dinner, paint your nails, go to the gym. Do something that will not only cheer them up, but will also contribute to helping yourself and your mentality.pexels-photo-919436.jpeg
  2. Work hard, play hard
    We hate having time to ourselves because we always feel like there’s some job that we should be doing. Work hard, get your jobs done in the day and leave the evening to relax. Earn your time. If you cannot sit there without thinking of something you should be doing, then treat it as a transaction. You’ve given your time in the day to be productive, your reward is relaxing. pexels-photo-544117.jpeg
  3. Say No
    This will be hard for some people. It is probably one of the hardest things for us to do. When we are overworked, stressed, or tired, we still feel like we have to keep going. Someone asks us to do something and we feel like we have to do it because we owe them as their friend. Sometimes this may be the case, and we want to help them, we may get a reward of feeling good after we have helped them. But when we just want to be by ourselves, this just feels impossible. Know that it is okay to say no when you don’t feel up to something. Just like you want to be a good friend to someone, if they are truly a good friend to you, they will understand if you are burned out and just not up to doing anything other than getting in bed with your favourite TV show. You need to remember that your mental health is just as important as others. We need to break this obsession with not allowing ourselves time to relax.

Never feel bad for putting yourself first.
Work hard, play hard, and love your life.

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Sweat, Smile, Repeat.

Exercise to energise!

When I’m feeling down/blue/spaced/sad- whatever label we want to call it, one thing I love to do to lift me up is exercise.

I know many people hate this word, the thought of working out makes them fatigued before they have even started. But it can be a fun and effective way of lifting your spirits immediately.

Not only does exercising release endorphins (our ‘happy’ hormones) but it is a way of allowing you to feel productive and good about yourself, which all in all will lead to a happier you.

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I hated exercising. I was always the one person in P.E that would try and get out of anything that involved moving. Now? I love it. Once I became in control of what activities I wanted to do, I felt like my goals were so much more achievable.

I go to the gym two to three times a week with my best friend which is great to socialise and get out of the house as well as working out and having a goal to try and reach! When I am not at the gym I love to do Pilates and yoga. Yoga relaxes my mind, it is a way of being with yourself. A time to love yourself and think about how far you have come and what you want to do to reach the next goal post.

Pilates is also a great way to tone up your muscles and become fitter and stronger. One thing I have learnt along the way is that it is not about the vanity, but seeing improvements in yourself both mentally and physically. I cannot explain the joy that you feel when you can stretch that little bit further, or do that one extra push up that you couldn’t do yesterday.

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(C) blogilates

If you are looking for a plan to stick to, I could not recommend Blogilates enough. Cassey Ho, the founder of this amazing channel, started out as a small scale YouTuber, posting Pilates and yoga videos. Now she has her own clothing range, exercise classes all around the world as well as millions of subscribers. Not only are her videos amazing but she is a prime example of how far you can go when you set goals and never give up. It doesn’t matter about the scale of your dreams, as long as you have goals to aspire to, you will be so much happier.

Cassey is an immensely positive person, so if you are looking for someone to get you motivated, check her out straight away.

If you are going to do anything today, do ten minutes, even five minutes, of some exercise and you will become addicted.

You are in control of your life and remember you can control how you feel. Do not let anything or anyone tell you otherwise. As soon as you realise that you have power over your own actions, you will be on your way to living a happy life.

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Detox Water Recipes

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One major factor of feeling well and feeling good on the outside starts with how you feel on the inside. Many people say they don’t have time to create different meals or supplements that are healthy and beneficial.

Just drinking water alone can boost your mood, leaving you feeling more productive and less tired. It has so many benefits for your skin, as well as flushing out the toxins within you which helps ease tension in muscles and reducing stress and headaches.

Here are some detox water recipes to try that will definitely leave you feeling revitalised and cleansed.

Mental health is holistic; not just about our minds but our bodies as a whole. The more we focus on looking after ourselves as a whole, then we feel better as a whole.

Cucumber and Mint Detox 

Cucumber is filled with vitamins A and C, as well a folic acid and magnesium. This is great for skin care as well as flushing out toxins from the body, leaving you feeling refreshed. Mint promotes digestion and soothes any stomach troubles. 

Lemon and Cucumber Detox

Lemons too are filled with vitamin C, which is good for the immune system, as well as lowering blood pressure and any risks of cardiovascular disease or diabetes.  It is good for re-hydrating the skin, leaving you feeling confident and therefore better in your own skin.

Summer Berry Detox

Strawberries are full of anti-oxidants and polyphenols. They therefore promote cleansing and hydrating properties, flushing out waste that builds up in our lymphatic systems, and helping skin be rid from free radicals which are caused by our day-to-day lives from things such as pollution, stress and travelling. Mix with blueberries to achieve a healthier heart, and an increase of fibre and lower blood cholesterol.

Citrus Blast Detox

Limes are great for detoxing as they promote weight loss and helps with smooth digestion when you are feeling clogged up. Its high levels of vitamin C are great for our immune systems, and increasing your body’s antibiotic properties. Oranges too are full of vitamin C, preventing illnesses such as the common cold, leaving you feeling energised and ready for your day. Mix with lemon and mint to achieve the ultimate citrus flavour.